From mccarthy@symcom.math.uiuc.edu Sat Nov 19 21:26:56 1994 Return-Path: Received: from nihal.math.uiuc.edu by muddcs.cs.hmc.edu (5.0/SMI-SVR4) id AA06519; Sat, 19 Nov 1994 21:26:55 -0800 Received: by nihal.math.uiuc.edu id AA23867 (5.67b/IDA-1.4.4 for jstimson@muddcs.cs.hmc.edu); Sat, 19 Nov 1994 23:27:24 -0600 From: Cliff McCarthy Message-Id: <199411200527.AA23867@nihal.math.uiuc.edu> Subject: A little humor for bass players (and some prog fans) To: jstimson@cs.hmc.edu (John Stimson) Date: Sat, 19 Nov 1994 23:27:23 -0600 (CST) Cc: mccarthy@symcom.math.uiuc.edu (Cliff McCarthy) Content-Type: text Content-Length: 2707 Status: RO Here it is... \__ Pojundery, ---------------------------------------------------- | Cliff McCarthy | mccarthy@math.uiuc.edu | UIUC Math & Unicycling /T\ | A peaceful place, or so it looks from space. \_/ From: barrett@astro.cs.umass.edu (Daniel Barrett) Newsgroups: alt.music.progressive Subject: A little humor for bass players (and some prog fans) Date: 14 Nov 1994 18:40:11 GMT Organization: BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED I received the following little story from a Net friend. It is reportedly from Bottom Line, the bass player's forum on the Internet. I do not know who the author is. I've reformatted the text a bit. Hope you enjoy it. :-) What follows is a transcript of an actual conversation between a bass player and Santa Claus at a local shopping mall: Santa Claus: Ho-ho-ho! Who's next? Bass Player: [Jumping up and down] Me! Me! Me! I'm next! SC: Aren't you a little old for this? BP: I'm big for my age. Besides, these kids don't mind if I cut in front. Do you kiddies...???? HMMMM??? Kids: [shrinking back in fear] No..... SC: OK, sit down on my lap. Ummph!! You are one heavy little kid! BP: That's because I'm a bass player. SC: A bass player? Ho-ho-ho!!! Well what would you like for Christmas? A new bass? How about an Alembic? A Tobias? A Modulus? How about a '62 Fender Jazz in mint condition? BP: [Shaking head] No. SC: Ho-ho-ho!!! How about a new rig? SWR? Eden? Hartke? Trace? BP: No thanks. I already have ALL the equipment I could ever want. [OK, now you KNOW this is a fairy tale!] SC: What then? BP: I don't want anything for myself. Here. [Handing Santa a map of the world.] Here's the Middle-East. Can you bring peace to that part of the world? SC: That's a pretty tall order. Can't you think of something that YOU want? BP: OK. Can you make me play like Victor Wooten? SC: [After long pause...] Let me see that map again. [For those who are 4-string impaired, it helps to know who Victor Wooten is: bassist for Bela Fleck, winner of last years Bass Player magazine poll, and all-around bass monster/nice guy.] Again, please note that I did not write the above story. Anybody know who did? Dan //////////////////////////////////////\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ | Dan Barrett -- Computer Science Dept, University of MA, Amherst, MA 01003 | | http://zoo.cs.umass.edu/~barrett/public.html -- barrett@cs.umass.edu | \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\/////////////////////////////////////