Announcement originally scheduled to be posted on 4/01/90 but has been delayed until now because of reasons beyond our control (BIOSERVE mgmt). HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED The heaviest element known to science was discovered a few years ago at the Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, and the news should be officially released sometime in 1992. The element, tentatively named Administratium, (Ad), has no protons or electrons, thus it has atomic number 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 75 associate neutrons, 125 deputy associate neutrons, and 111 assistant deputy associate neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. The 312 particles are held together in the nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called memons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. Nevertheless, it can be detected chemically, because it seems to impede every reaction in which it takes part. According to Dr M. Langour, one of the discoverers of the element, a very small amount of Administratium made one reaction that normally takes less than a second, take four days to go to completion. Administratium has a half-life of approximately 3 years, after which time it does not actually decay. Instead, it undergoes an internal reorganization in which associates to the neutron, deputy associates to the neutron, and assistant depluty associates to the neutron all exchange places. Some studies have indicated that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization. Source: Alan R. Rogers, ROGERS@ARSUN.UTAH.EDU, via POP-BIO bulletin board