Article 912 of alt.humor.best-of-usenet:
From: David Barr <barr@pop.psu.edu>
Subject: [alt.config] Form to create a new group in the alt hierarchy
Date: 26 Mar 1994 00:55:35 GMT

Newsgroups: alt.config
From: Nik.Clayton@brunel.ac.uk (Nik Clayton)
Subject: Form to create a new group in the alt hierarchy


                    Form for proposing a new "alt" group
                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In an effort to conserve bandwidth it would be appreciated if everyone 
who wishes to create a new newsgroup in the "alt" hierarchy could
simply fill out this form and post it to alt.config.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-[CUT HERE]-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Hi there,

My name is <insert your name here> and I've just discovered news. I'd like
to create a newsgroup so I can show off to all my friends, who are going to
be wowed by my ability to create stupid newsgroups.

The name of my group will be <insert group name here>. I feel there is a
need for this group because,

    <place an X in one of the following>
    
    [ ] - It will only be relevent to people at my site or my country
          Examples:
            alt.sport.baseball.*
            alt.dear.whitehouse
            alt.national.enquirer
            alt.fan.rush-limbaugh

    [ ] - It's an event that is only going to last for a few months before
          interest fades...
          Examples:
            alt.desert-storm
            alt.rodney-king

    [ ] - It's funny...
          Examples:
            alt.rmgroup
            alt.newgroup
            alt.dev.null
            alt.sed.jam
            alt.parents.analretentive.insane
            alt.foo.bar

    [ ] - Another newsgroup exists, but it's not quite right for what I 
          want to discuss.
          Examples:
            alt.tv.dinosaurs.barney.die.die.die        and
            alt.tv.dinosaur.barney.die.die.die
            alt.dec.athena                             and
            alt.decathena
            and many examples of big 7 <-> alt crossover

    [ ] - I can't be bothered with all the hassle of running a vote.
          Examples:
            alt.politics.*
            alt.bbs.*
            alt.aldus.*

    [ ] - My name is Joel Furr

I am posting this to alt.config to try and ensure wider propogation for my
group when I create it. Feel free to make comments about this proposal. 

To save you the time of commenting, simply place an X in the box that 
matches your comment:

    [ ] - Oh wow! Yeah! We need this group right now. I VOTE YES!!11!

    [ ] - No. (Note: This approach (c) twpierce@unix.amherst.edu)

    [ ] - What's wrong with <this> existing hierarchy?

    [ ] - It's over the 14 character limit.

    [ ] - How about changing some of the "."s to "-"?
               (c.f. alt.fan.the.police)

    [ ] - Have you considered a different name?

    [ ] - NO! YOU BUMBLING BUFFOON. GO AND LEARN HOW TO POST BEFORE
          PROPOSING A NEWSGROUP!

On receipt of such comments I will

    [ ] - Flame the originator for daring to suggest that my group proposal
          is anything other than perfect. Then I shall create the group.

    [ ] - Flame the originator for being a fascist nazi admin with delusions
          of Godhood. Then I shall create the group.

    [ ] - Ignore anyone else's postings on the subject. I shall then create
          the group.

    [ ] - Listen politely and attentively while people explain why my choice
          of name is bad, how I should try a mailing list first and maybe
          I should go for a vote in the big 7 first. I shall then create the
          group.

    [ ] - Decide not to create the group, and say so in alt.config. Someone
          else shall then create the group anyway.

    [ ] - It's too late, I've already sent out the newgroup message.

I shall now make the obligatory one mistake in my posting. I will either,

    [ ] - Include the text "Please reply by e-mail, because I don't read
          this group very often".

    [ ] - Include the text "Please reply by e-mail, because I don't read
          this group very often", and have an invalid e-mail address.

    [ ] - Be proposing a group that already exists, I couldn't be bothered
          to scan my .newsrc file.
    
    [ ] - Have misspelled the name of the group I am proposing at least 
          once.

Thank you for taking the time to read this posting. I hope you will
subscribe to <insert group name here>.

<insert your name here>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-[CUT HERE]-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

It is not hard to see that by adhering to this simple form the bandwidth
consumed by alt.config would be reduced to virtually nothing, overnight.

Rgds, Nik