From: "Finis Coronat Opus." Subject: Huespeak Hey! This is the beginning of a Huespeak lexicon I posted to vaxnotes. Should help, I guess, and some of it is kinda funny. Anyway, enjoy! --Nat What is Huespeak? Huespeak is that strange dialect of English spoken on East Campus, especially Goodhue. Or is it a separate language? Huespeak follows the ominous Orwellian dictum that you can control people's thoughts by compressing their language. The origins of Huespeak are shrouded in mystery. Certain trends in the syntax date from at least the fifties, as verified by the Archivist - especially the tendency to truncate words. More lately, 'Huespeak owes a debt to Louis Burruss, the math major who never wears shoes, late of 3rd 'Hue. A preliminary lexicon follows. Hum: v. The basic verb; can take the place of any transitive verb. eg: "Hum dree" (do laundry). Hork: v. Almost as general as Hum, but usually expresses taking or obtaining. eg: "Hork za" (take pizza). Wex: (most parts of speech). Wex is generally used as an interjection, but can also function as a noun or an adjective or an adverb. Wex expresses notions of defeat, damage, obstacles, and blockage. It is similar in use to "dis." eg: "Wex! Someone horked my bee!" (Damn! Someone stole my frisbee!) The history of this word is interesting - it was coined in early 1991 on 3rd 'Hue by Louis B., while watching a Bruce Lee movie. Evidently there is a scene where Bruce kicks apart this wax dummy, thinking it is a human enemy; on discovering his error, he says "Wex!" (mispronunciation of wax) and throws down the wax head in disgust. The first use of "wex" was in Ultimate; if a pass was batted out of the air before it could be caught, that was a "wex," but its meaning has expanded. Butt: adj. Very. Can be used to modify any word to make it stronger. eg: "Butt hard exam!" (Very hard exam.) Za: n. Pizza. Bee: n. A frisbee, or the game frisbee. Dree: n. Laundry. Can mean either the dirty clothes themselves or the action of laundering. eg: "I'm for hum some dree!" (I'm about to go do laundry). Fresh: adj. Essentially the opposite of Grim. Almost always used as an interjection. Expresses joy, awe, or interest. Often accompanied by a special hand gesture. eg: "Fresh za, dude!" (What a good pizza you have.) Grim: adj. Expresses sadness, sympathy, outrage, disgust. Usually used as an interjection. eg: "Grim saga!" (Mariott Food Service is really disgusting!) Saga: n. Mariott Food Service, and the food they serve. The food used to be done by the Saga corporation, but Saga was bought out by Mariott. Nothing changed, of course, so we all still call it Saga (ask about Beige Foam). Fank: adj. A stronger version of Grim, but otherwise similar. Quality: adj. Similar to fresh, but more often used as an actual adjective in a sentence. Expresses awe, excellence, importance, significance. eg: "Quality bee, dude!" (You played well in Ultimate today.) Key: adj, n. Expresses the importance or pivotal nature of something. eg: "Key beer!" (This beer is important to our social well being.) Fuck Me: interj. An expression of joy or surprise. Pioneered by Brenda Harris. eg: "Fuck me, that's so great!" Stud: n, adj, adv. One who is cool or super-competent, even unto being like Elvis. Bob Kemp-Agent: n. The adopted diety of 3rd Hue, embodied by Ben Pearlman. His charismatic icon was discovered while flipping through the phone book. (The real Bob Kemp (agent) is an insurance salesman in Red Wing or somewhere.) Dude: Used just like it is used everywhere else. Smacko: adj. Similar to Fresh, but stronger. Also often used in the sense of Grim, with the construction "not-smacko." Also has an accompanying hand gesture. eg: "Being arrested is not-smacko!" <> Huespeak is a very economical language. Quite complex sentiments can be expressed by short, clipped strings of Huespeak words, reducing even the most obvious statements into total gibberish incomprehensible to outsiders. For example: "Smacko fresh za hork wex; hum butt fank saga - grim!" This sentence expresses something like the following: "Failing to obtain a piece of the really excellent pizza, I am forced to obtain really awful Mariott Food Service food instead, which I bitterly regret." Well, I gotta hum some sleep. Wex to this post, more later.